Transition to Motherhood: Occupational Balance

It is often said that the birth of a new baby brings with it the birth of a mother as well. Many women seek out books, podcasts, and anecdotes from friends or family to help plan for a pregnancy or new child, but it is hard to prepare completely because every experience is so unique. Despite the unknown, there is one concept that can be practiced pre-conception, during pregnancy, and postpartum that can lead to a more meaningful, fulfilling life in each new stage. This concept is occupational balance.

 Occupational therapists specialize in occupations, which are the activities that occupy your time - including everything from sleep, meal preparation, and your career, to sex, childcare, and leisure activities. Occupational balance is a concept used to describe the ideal integration of activities that lead to a meaningful daily existence. For most people, this is a balance between self-care, productivity, and rest.

This ideal integration brings with it better physical, emotional, and mental health. It can also lead to opportunities of self-discovery and deeper connections with important people in your life. We’ve all experienced the sense of wellness that comes on the days we are able to balance the things we have to do with the things we want to do. That’s what occupational balance is all about. But it is not easy! Especially for women transitioning into the role of motherhood.

Pregnancy and motherhood transform a woman’s life and often bring a huge shift in identity, priorities, and ability to find occupational balance. This can be a beautiful transformation, but it can also lead to a woman’s sense of losing herself in the process. So how do we find occupational balance, especially in the times that it feels impossible?

 Self-care

Since this balance includes self-care, productivity, and rest, a first step is to identify how you can take care of yourself. What brings you peace? What helps you recharge?

 Make your list. Take a few minutes to brainstorm your definition of self-care. Is it physical activity? A walk or yoga session? An uninterrupted moment with a cup of coffee? Painting your nails? Journaling? Reading a book for fun? Grabbing a meal with a friend?

 15 minutes a day. Depending on your stage of life and motherhood, you may not have the opportunity to spend hours and hours on self-care each week. It can also look different for moms who stay at home and moms who work outside the home. Regardless of your experience, shoot for just 15 minutes a day. For yourself! It may end up being more or less depending on the day, but make 15 minutes your starting goal.

Be creative. It will likely take some creativity to find your 15 minute chunks of time. Have your cup of coffee while your partner can spend time with the kids. Do your yoga or activity session with baby strapped to your chest. Listen to a podcast that recharges you on your way to work or while sitting in the carpool line.

 Ask for help. Do you have a partner who can share household chores? Can a friend or family member run an errand for you? Can a neighbor babysit while you go for a walk or catch up with a friend? If you have the support, don’t be afraid to ask. If you don’t yet have your support circle - seek mommy and me groups on the web or through social media as a starting point.

 Be patient. Your self-care time may not be perfect every day. But by prioritizing this time, you are speaking love and worth to yourself, reminding yourself that you deserve those little moments that help you recharge and bring you joy. And in the long run, a mom who is well cared for has more bandwidth to care for others.

 Productivity

Prioritizing self-care is so important for a sense of wellness, but everyone has that list of things that need to get done each day. This is the piece called productivity.

Prioritize. Every woman has a seemingly never ending “to-do” list. Regardless of your stage of motherhood or the roles that you play, it can help to prioritize that list. Start with what needs to be done today. Plan your big tasks for the times of day or days of the week that you have the most energy.

 Social support. For moms that stay-at-home AND moms that work outside the home, social support can offer huge relief. Productivity may look like an 8 hour workday and/or household chores that never end. It can be overwhelming at times. Find the people that can keep you afloat and utilize their support. Again, don’t be afraid to ask for help - it takes a village to raise a baby and a mother.

Involve the family. If your list of productive tasks includes chores around the house, can your kids help? Put on some fun music and make a game out of cleaning up toys or doing the laundry together. What can your spouse/partner help to complete? While we often want our families to read our minds - being able to communicate to someone exactly what you need them can go a long way.

Give yourself grace. It’s okay if you can’t get to everything every day. Celebrate the little wins, and cut yourself some slack if you didn’t make it to the store and the kitchen is a mess at the end of the day. Surround yourself with the people who will remind you to be graceful with yourself when you forget.  

 Rest

Finally, rest. Create a routine that helps everyone in the family rest well. If you have babies or toddlers who nap, nap when they do! Or at least kick your feet up while you have a quiet house and enjoy the calm and peaceful moments when you can.

Everyone - especially moms - need a little quiet time during the day. Don’t be afraid to prioritize it.

Studies Referenced:

Backman CL. Occupational balance: exploring the relationships among daily occupations and their influence on well-being. Can J Occup Ther. 2004 Oct;71(4):202-9. doi: 10.1177/000841740407100404. PMID: 15586852.

Slootjes, H., McKinstry, C., Kenny, A. Maternal role transition: Why new mothers need occupational therapists. Australian Occupational Therapy Journal. 2016;63(2): 130-133. https://doi.org/10.1111/1440-1630.12225

Blog post was written by Courtney Weber - An occupational therapy doctoral student completing her internship with WILD LLC